Currently Look Who's Talking, Too By John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, Olympia Dukakis, Elias Koteas, Twink Caplan see related

bOo BoO...

I was thinking the other day how fast the last 3 months have gone by...well, almost 4 months really.  I am so blest that I have gotten to share in his life 24/7 for all of that time...

 

His smiles...

 

His burps...all loud!

 

His watching TV...

 

Finding his voice...and talking nonstop!

 

                                                                                   Singing to him when he gets scared...

                                                                           

                                                                                   And all the other unnamed 'joyous' tasks of motherhood. 

 

It's funny how being a mother has had a profound impact on my life...having part in the creation of a life, and then nurturing and cultivating that life into fruition.  It's an unspeakable joy, and, at the same time, the hardest job I have ever had.  I'm not complaining mind you, I love my boy...but I think every mother out there will admit, that, at times, it can be quite tough.  I am to grateful I have the great support system that I do...the totally awesome surrogate family, who have wrapped us both in their loving arms. 

 

This is a new chapter in my life, and one I would NOT give back for a do-over...NEVER! 

 

I look at all the teenage single mothers out in the world, and wonder how they think they're ready for the challenge of a baby and school, work, and everything else they have in their life! 

 

Let me just say this...

 

You can never be totally ready to be a parent...

 

I love my son, and wouldn't trade the joy of being his mother for anything...but, at the same time, I realize how big a responsibility it is for me.  It's not just me anymore...it's me plus 1...

 

He had his first trip to the beach this week...and slept through most of it...so cute!  He actually put himself to sleep on the bed by watching TV! 

 

He did miss his 'friends' tho...the string of animals that hangs over his pack-n-play.  He talks to them all the time!  We didn't bring 'em with us, and he noticed...

 

His newest accomplishment for the week is I started him on rice cereal...and he takes to it like a pro!  Just a little suppliment with his bottle a couple times a day. 

 

I'm still looking for a good church home...tried a few close by, and found one I like.  Still have a couple I want to visit before I choose.  I have several things I am looking for...I'd like Gabriel to hear the old hymns, have a lot of the same doctrinal beliefs, a good children's program for when he gets older, and a pastoral message that really challenges me.  It's been somewhat tough to find exactly what I'm looking for, but a baptist church nearby seems to fit the bill...we'll see.

 

 

 

Gotta get back to the baby...he's had lunch, and is almost ready for his nap!

Sitting here after going to the movies on a Saturday...Hotel For Dogs...good movie!  Kinda tired...good excuse though, I'm 6 months pregnant.  And that's a whole 'nuther story...

Kinda nervous and excited 'bout the baby...got most of the furniture put up and some baby things bought, but still seems like there's so much to do.  I dunno, maybe it's all in my head...maybe not.  I've been thru alot in the last year...enlisted in the Air Force, got discharged from the Air Force, almost lost my family, got pregnant...yeah, that pretty much sums it up.  Now it's 2 months into a new year...and 11 weeks to go until the baby arrives.  Didn't think I'd be having a baby at this time in my life, but everything has a purpose...

For those of you praying, Mary is doing fine...and in perfect health.

Ok...time for a real post about what I feel and all of that... Got something edgin at the back of my mind.... Suggestions are welcome... Here we go... Ever feel like you need to prioritize... we talk a lot about it in church.... I try to keep my priorities right in life... but failure is an everyday thing... I fell like I let one person determine who I am....Happy....Sad....Excited...Mad... It's not fair to me or them... they've had the control before.... I gave it to them.... unbeknownst to them.... and I've taken it back before.... yet the power has slipped back into their grasp... I can't imagine things any other way.... Why do I care so much?... Why can't I be selfish and want what I want?... This person, with all their power over me, can make me the happiest person alive.... or the saddest person on the planet..... lately it's been the latter b/c well they just don't have as much time for me as I wish they did... and they don't feel like showin me as affection as I wish they did.... It's not fair to that person...I know that... In that way I am bein selfish by puttin that much pressure on someone... but in others I am thinkin only of them b/c I would and will do anything for that person to try and get their attention... SAD I know... am I just starved for affection... or is it that I just love them that much... I'm not sure... all I know is that pedestal that they're restin on is comin down.... No change that they will notice except maybe a happier me... but rulin my life should be up to God not someone else... even if it's not their fault... I will battle this demon of self pity...it is my friend.... I want to love and to be loved... it's not a sad story...just a recurring one... that's what makes it sad...

I need all of you out there to do me a favor...

My 'second mom', Mary Robbins, is in the hospital.   She spiked a fever of 103 at 3am today and had incredible stomach pain.  After about 4 hours, Frank convinced her to go to the emergency room, and found her blood pressure to be 50/34!  They ran some tests, took x-rays, and did a CAT scan...the result was a highly infected gallbladder and gallstones.  The real problem is the stones have left her gallbladder and traveled through the bile tube.  They will have to remove the stones first before they can take the gallbladder and bile tube...and they don't know the extent of the damage until they go in and get a first hand look.  She is scheduled for surgery to remove the gallstones sometime tomorrow(Monday), and the gallbladder for sometime Tuesday...all this depending on what they find when they go in.  The main thing is we don't know much at this point...there are to many variables to deal with.  Right now I am extremely worried and I am scheduled to work tonight, Monday, and Tuesday...the good news is she is stabilized for now, but I wish I could be there even though there isn't anything I could do at this point.  I would greatly appreciate your continued prayers in this...God's will be done. 

I just can't understand...
How you could walk away from what we had...
The tears that I've cried...The many times I've tried...
To forget you...

We could start again...build anew
put aside the past regrets...see what will become
I could never hide...it's ever implied
You're my everything

the start of a Kady original...a song in the making